Ouch.

I was telling myself to think positive the whole day. I even smiled when i bought the bread. Wondering what reaction would he have. Wondering if it could just make things a lil' better. But i guess thinking positive doesn't work. Things doesn't go well like i pray it would. And from that moment, from the moment he raised his voice, from that moment the hatred in his eyes, his eyes was always gentle to me, till that moment, it changed. Till that moment, i gave up.

All i can do is run away. Heart is beating like it's having an earthquake, eyes full of tears, fist full of anger, heart full of fear. I dint even look at the cars when i'm running across the road. Idk wth i'm thinking, almost had an accident wtf. Sat down at a coffee shop. And there's goes the day.

No phone calls, no texts, nothing. Guess that's how it ends huh. Ever regretted? Yes. I regretted for being angry. I regretted that i let go in the first place. I REGRETTED THAT I LOSE YOU BECAUSE I WANTED TO KEEP EVERYTHING I HAD. UNTIL I REALIZE YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING. Yes, i regretted, alot.

But sorry doesn't works anymore. Crying doesn't save out relationship anymore. It's gone, ended, dead. I tried everything, but everything doesn't work. And there's the thought, maybe i should just leave, leave the house, leave my family, leave my friends. And wonder to some new place to get my heart patched. But where? How? If i have a car i would leave. If i have the money i would leave. But i don't. Guess things can't always works like i wanted it to.

How i hope that there's a time machine. I'll give out everything just to have that chance to go back and change the things i did, the things i said, the love i lost. If there's still a chance, i would rather lose everything i had, rather to lose the one i love.